Everything You Need to Know About Parenting

It seems like there are no shortage of parenting books out there. There are books on sleeping, feeding, burping, fussing, crying, pooping, growing and just all-around baby stuff. The amount of information available in print and online is overwhelming. I've compile what I believe to be the key facts when it comes to parenting.

• There is not a book in existence that will impart some sort of magical cure-all wisdom on you. Your baby will cry, even if she is the bestest, cutest, most happy baby in the universe, she will cry. 
• Whoever said "sleeping like a baby" deserves to be drawn and quartered. Sleeping is incredibly difficult for babies to do well. In fact, so is eating, having bowel movements, and just about everything else. Imagine someone asked you to walk a tightrope for the first time and expected you to not fall. Babies are like that, with EVERYTHING. 
• You're going to feel like shit. No matter what. No matter how much experience you have with kids, no matter how happy your baby is. You will give zero fucks about the actual facts (that your baby has survived and remains physically intact). You will have moments of sheer terror that you are ruining your perfect little munchkin for ever with whatever it is you're doing. Take a moment. Count your baby's fingers and toes. Ten of each? Success! Give yourself a pat on the back and marvel at the miracle that she is ALIVE and HEALTHY. If she isn't healthy? There are doctors, specialists, medicine, hospitals and so many more resources available to you. 
• Do NOT get involved in the mommy wars. Seriously. Everyone has their own parenting style. Everyone has their own methods that they swear by. It's fine if you do something different, just as it's fine if other people do something different. The good thing is, if you are working in what you believe to be your child's best interests, it's pretty hard to do something wrong. So, unless someone is causing physical harm to their child, keep your damn mouth shut about their parenting techniques. Everyone has their reasons for their choices. 
• Ask for help. Seriously, especially at first. With cooking, cleaning, changing diapers. You NEED to shower, it's imperative. It will make you feel like a human, so don't hesitate to ask for help so you can get a break. Our generation is one of the first generations to rear children without the 24-hour support net of extended family standing by. 
• Focus on the basics first. Don't worry about toys or play yards or any of that crap at first. Focus on the basics: food, diapers and sleep. 

I've only been a mom for two months, so take all that advice with a grain of salt. Actually, that's my last bit of advice. Take ALL advice with a grain of salt. No one's advice will work for every baby, every family, every day, etc. Follow your gut.